A Flawed Shepherd

We’re flawed – very flawed; you know what I mean?

A Shepherd is sorta an outsider, you know. The people in town wear fine clothes, woven from the well-washed wool of our flocks, yet they turn away from us repulsed by the scent of our lowly work as shepherds.

Mostly we live in the wilderness just beyond Bethlehem, grazing our sheep, sleeping in solitude under the dark dome of silent star-lit nights. At night I look up to the Lord in the heavens, remembering the words of my youth.

Traditions from our fathers recall a shepherd-king, David, of generations long gone. The old City of David just up the mountain from Bethlehem became home to a couple of thousand people. Our little town of Bethlehem now swells to nearly a thousand due to Rome’s order for our families to return for a census. Jerusalem has grown to maybe 40,000, plus Roman centurions.

Time of the First Temple – 957-586 BC

Solomon, son of David, built the first Temple in Jerusalem with riches from other lands. Enemies destroyed the Temple and plundered our lands, because our kings refused to listen to the Lord. Isaiah and the Prophets repeatedly warned our kings not to turn against God. They promised us hope in a Messiah, a King who would lead Israel in righteousness: but first Babylon would parade our captive leaders into foreign cities to live.

Second Temple rebuilt – 538-170 BC

They allowed some of our fathers to return and rebuild Jerusalem, just a short journey north beyond these hills.

Alexander ruled over us and the entire world nearby while our fathers adopted the language and some of the culture of our Greek captors. Egypt ruled us once more after Alexander’s death, until an Alexandrian general of Syria conquered us again.

Herod rebuilds the Temple and Jerusalem under Rome – 38 BC

Our grandfathers told us stories of the revolt of the priests and Herod the Great recapturing Galilee with considerable help from Rome. Rome’s powerful peace rules over us now, enforced by legions encamped across our countryside; but shepherds have little to say in these matters of power.

Life of a Shepherd

Our days of drudgery drag on into senseless seasons of defeat and despair. Dreams discouraged — hopes of all the years abandoned in desperate darkness for distractions of days lost in silent surrender. When we were young, times of promise never escaped our self-confidence. Now scores of years reveal a flawed flesh and failing desires.

What hope have we beyond darkness in times of sorrow? For our remorse reminds of a past built on foundationless self-made dreams and hopes of self-earned glory.

I did not need God!

Who can keep the Lord’s Law or live up to men’s visions? We blame our flawed upbringing on generations of our fathers who failed in advantage over other men. I was a self-made, flawed man, with a little of a flawed plan.

Who needs the help of another? Yet what stiff-necked soul does not cry out to God in our failure?

I cannot face a God who knows my sin nor can I face a punishment of a God who stands in holiness against our transgressions. What savior for me — what savior for me?

A Shepherd Recalls Scripture from Isaiah

In solemn silence my distraught heart, heavy with hopeless, strains for gentle words of comfort whispering deeply into my soul. Lord, help me – forgive me – I can’t quite remember…

[ctt title=”Isaiah 7:14 לָכֵן יִתֵּן אֲדֹנָי הוּא לָכֶם אֹות הִנֵּה הָעַלְמָה הָרָה וְיֹלֶדֶת בֵּן וְקָרָאת שְׁמֹו עִמָּנוּ אֵֽל׃” tweet=”A Messiah, born to a virgin” coverup=”eEdCg”]

[ctt title=”Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. – Isaiah 7:14″ tweet=”” coverup=”jLQN1″]

Immanuel, God with us; how I could never bear the thought of standing near Almighty God. Who can stand before, “God with us?” I once believed I was better than most, but now I fall before Him.

The Messiah will be born to a virgin, pure in heart and flesh and He will not disappoint.

I could never be like Him. Yet a voice soft as the caress of a gentle breeze describes a Savior I could hear, the only compassionate one who perfectly understands a lowly shepherd like me.

He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,

Or make it heard in the street;

A bruised reed he will not break,

And a faintly burning wick he will not quench;

He will faithfully bring forth justice.

Isaiah 42:2-3

Conviction and the Cry of a Repentant Heart

Now that my days of self-deceit have passed, indeed I am a bruised reed. My heart burns faintly with what life remains in these flawed bones and failing flesh. I cry out to the Lord.

O God, are you gentle as a baby born humbly to a poor virgin? Lord, would you have mercy on a lowly man who lives near the beasts of your barns? What would you say to a flawed one like me?

But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at my word.- Isaiah 66:2b

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To be continued Christmas day…