Talk of JESUS .com

Tag: children

  • Are You the One? – 2

    Are You the One? – 2

    Jesus to the multitudes

    Speaking of John the Baptist…

    Luke 7

    English Standard Version (ESV)

    26 What then did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 27 This is he of whom it is written,

    “‘Behold, I send my messenger before your face,
    who will prepare your way before you.’

    28 I tell you, among those born of women none is greater than John. Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.” 29 (When all the people heard this, and the tax collectors too, they declared God just, having been baptized with the baptism of John, 30 but the Pharisees and the lawyers rejected the purpose of God for themselves, not having been baptized by him.)

    31 “To what then shall I compare the people of this generation, and what are they like? 32 They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling to one another,

    “‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance;
    we sang a dirge, and you did not weep.’

    See the contrast of walking into two very different churches and hearing the complaints of the ‘worshipers.’

    33 For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’

    We will have only grape juice (and only on occasion).

    34 The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

    We will have wine (and every time).

    35 Yet wisdom is justified by all her children.”

    One preacher is loud; one is soft. One place of worship is grand; another quaint. One has an organ and a choir; another only one with a guitar. One place they kneel; in another they jump up and down and fall to the floor.

    And what do the multitudes say?

    Jesus is not John… and John was not Jesus.

    Perhaps they were pious before John, while they were joyful around Jesus. Yet they complained of John’s piety and Jesus’ lack of it. Two brothers of the faith; two sons of God — yet both were more than that.

    God has a family of his own children. The speech and ways of one child of God will win the heart of another, while a very different way of  witness will not win this soul.  Our brother or sister of the family of God may win a soul that we cannot.

    John and Jesus (even cousins) were so different in so many ways. And you are so different from me.

    Wisdom is justified by all of her children (and God has many children). The words and ways and witness of the children are important, each for different times, different purposes and different souls for the family of God; but it is the Father and the wisdom of the Father to which all must yield.

    Worship is not for the multitudes; worship is of the Father.

    Wisdom is justified by all of her children.

    John was one child of God (none greater, according to Jesus). Jesus was One child of God. They taught different. They had different purposes for our Father God.

    Some children were chosen for the family of God long before their birth. (Jews.) Some children were chosen by adoption into the family of God before we were conceived in the womb. (Gentiles.)

    I thank the Lord for my inclusion in the family of our Heavenly Father by His redemption for my sin. I thank God for all of my brothers and sisters in the Lord – the multifaceted family of believers who have eternal life in Christ Jesus.

    And the merciful and Almighty God is justified by ALL His children.

    God is NOT justified by those who refuse to worship Him and honor the Lord our God humbly as a child of God. Jesus, John, Peter, Paul, the Prophets have always pointed out that these are children of their father the devil.

    Consider for just a moment the individual living souls of two witnesses:

    Jesus was NOT John and John was NOT Jesus, yet both are children of the Father.

    I am NOT my brother Ed nor my brother Ken nor my sister Jenny. I am NOT my wife Lissette. I am NOT my father Bill nor my mother Marie.  I am NOT my daughter Rachel nor my step-daughter Ashley nor my step-son David. I am not even the same as any Christian brother or sister in the Lord.

    Jesus asks John’s messengers (and the multitudes) to stop comparing one child of God to another and to take no offense.

    Luke 7:23 KJV And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.

    It is good advice for ANY brother or sister, whether in the Lord at this time or not.

    Do not be skandalizō by the teachings and miracles of your ‘brother’ Jesus or the right teachings of any child of God our Father.

    The religious ones and outwardly righteous ones in the crowds (as recorded in Luke 7:30) were scandalized by the teachings of Jesus.  The common sinners, tax collectors, drunkards and others (v. 29) repented when they heard John and changed their ways to continue to follow Jesus as their brother and our Lord.

    My dear brother; my dear sister; my beloved wife and beloved children:

    What is my message for you?

    Do NOT be offended by the teachings of Christ Jesus.

    What is the fruit of your witness?

     

  • How Do Children Respond to Grief?

    How Do Children Respond to Grief?

    By Rachel Harned, M.A. Counseling Ministries, Wheaton College

    Most people don’t know how to respond to other people’s grief.  Even fewer know how to respond to a child’s grief.

    My first introduction to grieving was when I was 6 years old and my mom died.  As a result, I wanted to post a follow up on interacting with grieving children.

    • First, it is important to look at what a child would consider a loss.

    When I was in 3rd grade, we moved from North Florida to Central Florida. That seemed like moving across the world to an 8 year old girl who had lived in the same house her whole life. I was losing my home, my friends, and my school in one fell blow. That was a major loss to me.

    A small toddler may even need to grieve the loss of a favorite stuffed animal.

    When I was 3 or 4, I cried for days when I lost my favorite doll. Almost every kid up until a certain age has a stuffed animal or blanket that they can’t go to sleep without.

    To a child, not all losses are equal but all losses are serious.

    A loss can be anything that affects how you live your life.

    I had to learn how to sleep without my doll and make friends in a new school and live without my mom.

    • You also have to be especially careful about your phrasing with children.

    You obviously don’t want to be too blunt but you can’t be vague about what’s happening or they won’t understand, particularly about death.

    I remember someone told me that my mom was asleep (or something like that) but she wasn’t waking up.

    For awhile, I did not want to go to sleep because I was afraid that I wouldn’t wake up either.

    Telling a child that someone passed away (probably one of the most common phrases) is better but young children will need to have it explained to them because they need to know what’s going on before they can process it.

    I use the word ‘processing,’ but I want to talk about that for a minute because different people will do it differently.

    • God created us with different personalities that are very distinct, even in children.

    Many (probably most) children will want to talk about it but others won’t. If they want to talk about it, it’s important for them to have a listening adult ear.

    Hopefully, that can be in the form of a parent or other family member, but sometimes that’s not possible. Especially in the case of death, family members can be so focused on their own grief that they emotionally can’t handle the child’s as well.  It’s OK to admit that, but there needs to be someone available for the grieving child to talk to.

    The most obvious choices would be a pastor or a counselor but it could also be a close family friend (with a Christian understanding of death and eternal life).

    I was able to talk to mentors and friends’ parents about my feelings and that had a significant impact on how I was able to deal with my mom’s death and some other things that were happening in my life shortly afterwards.

    • If a child does not want to talk, that is OK too.

    Don’t push them into it. Sometimes they need to think about it on their own or just wait and see what changes occur before they talk about it.

    As I mentioned in my previous post, it is important to acknowledge that grieving is normal and OK with adults, but it is doubly important to tell this to children.

    In a society where it is a virtue to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” I have seen many children taught that crying is a sign of weakness and that only babies cry. This is especially common with boys.

    The problem with that is that some things are worth crying over. One of my parenting pet peeves is when parents tell their sobbing children “it’s OK” but clearly, something is not OK or they wouldn’t be crying.

    A better phrasing might be “I know it hurts right now but you WILL BE OK” or something along those lines.

    That applies to grief as well. When a child is caught in the middle of a divorce or has just lost a parent, sibling, pet, etc., they need to be told that it’s OK to cry about it now but, eventually, it won’t hurt as much.

    Also, if you don’t let out your feelings of sadness, they will inevitably manifest themselves in another way, usually in depression, anxiety, or anger. I have no research to back this up but I am convinced that the rise in teens that need anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications is at least partially due to the increasing stigma against proper grieving in our culture.

    Feel free to comment below with any other questions, tips, or stories about your experiences with grief.

    And please SHARE our discussions on How to Respond to Grief with any who are grieving.

  • Growing into Christ

    Growing into Christ

    The Christian community is built with fellowship, the Christian heart with prayer.

    Let’s consider the community of believers we call ‘church’ for a moment. Paul addresses some of the ‘issues’ of worship style in his letter to the Corinthians [ch.14] and his first direction of guidance instructs: “Pursue love… agapē.” 

    1 Corinthians 14:20  Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.

    John writes to the churches in Asia a similar caution:

    1 John 1: 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

    Peter in his first letter addresses Christians of churches in an even larger area:

    1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

    The King James Version states: Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

    • be of one mind
    • have compassion one of another – sympathēs 
    • love as brothers – philadelphos

    Do these words of the Apostles instruct any to be a lone chrisitian? Certainly not. The instruction to Christians is for fellowship.

    The Apostles teach the nurturing of a loving community, believers who spend time with one another, who worship together, and believers who truly love each other as Christ Jesus loves us.

    The Christian community is built with fellowship…

    How is it that most of our busy 21st century churches don’t get this?

    Does it take just a little more than an hour on a Sunday to build a relationship? to build a community? to establish a church in the love and fellowship of our Lord, Christ Jesus?

    “christians” we call ourselves. Is your relationship and community with your fellow brothers in the Lord (your fellow sisters in the Lord) a loving commitment such as this?

    The Christian community is built with fellowship, the Christian heart with prayer.

    So let us repent of the busyness of our public lives and sacrifice a little more Christ-like love to embrace His love through the relationships of our church.

    Which brings us now to our private lives:

    How is your prayer life?

    I must confess that I have never been one to think of prayer sufficiently. It was not until recently (by measure of years) that I finally engaged God in conversation through prayer every morning and throughout my day.

    Do you suppose the mention of “prayer” 114 times plus “pray” 96 times in the ESV suggests its importance? Of course.

    IF Jesus is our Lord and Master, we being His servants: certainly we must be obedient to His command:

    Mathew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

    Jesus said: “when you pray,” not ‘IF you pray.”

    Jesus said: “bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” – Luke 6:28  I have a hard time with that one.

    I remind myself: Pray without ceasing.

    Jesus encourages us in Luke 18:  And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.

    Do you “loose heart” in your daily life? I do.  Consider that in losing heart you have likely neglected prayer.

    Our failing flesh is one thing, but our heart is quite another. Jesus points out that the flesh is weak, but for the heart He directs us to prayer. Our heart (Hebrew) is: the inner man, mind, will, heart, soul, understanding and much more – kardia in the Greek.

    How will our spirit dwell with the Holy Spirit if not through prayer?

    … the Christian heart is built with prayer.

    And oh, so tender, our torn-up hearts.

    How broken our Christian lives.  How broken our Christian families.  How broken our Christian homes.

    How broken our Christian husbands and how broken our Christian wives. How broken our Christian children and how broken our Christian youth.

    What, then, must Christians do? (For in fact, our brokenness looks no different than the brokenness of so many who do not even know the love of Christ Jesus.)

    The unturned pages of our Bibles tell an answer we claim as our ‘Good News.’ (Gospel.)

    Have you been too busy to get the answers from God through prayer?

    Have you been too busy to share your love with other Christians?

     The Christian community is built with fellowship,

    the Christian heart with prayer.