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Tag: divorce

  • but from the beginning it was not so

    but from the beginning it was not so

    Teaching About Divorce

    3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

    4 He answered,“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

    The question of the Pharisees is justification that could easily come from the deceitful tongue of an unfaithful 21st c. christian.

    ‘How can I get out of my marriage vows?’ one might ask.

    A ‘vow’ may be permanent or vows may have a clause of completion by a given date or event. Here is announced INTENTION of the marriage vow I made with my wife and she with me:

    DECLARATION OF INTENTION
    Pastor [sister in the Lord and mayor, Judith Piper] to the persons who are to marry:

    I ask you now, in the presence of God and these people, to declare your intention to enter into union with
    each other through the grace of Jesus Christ, who calls you into union with himself [as acknowledged in
    your baptism.]

    Pastor to the woman: 2
    Lissette, will you have Roger, to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him,
    comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as
    long as you both shall live?
    Woman: I will.

    Pastor to the man:
    Roger, will you have Lissette, to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her,
    comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as
    long as you both shall live?

    I will.

    Although we have spent some time in the Old Testament and marriage problems from the beginning, let’s take a brief look at the Law and perspective of marriage before these last days.

    As a reminder, a woman (virgin) was given in marriage from her father to another family, typically by agreement to the father for his son. (How different this is from the boiling emotions of attraction of the flesh of those choosing marriage in these last days as a confirmation of what has already taken place.)

    The Bible speaks to men, because by their authority from God men are to speak to and for the woman in their care and responsibility.

    For a brief look at this, see Numbers 30.

    Not only is it NOT Biblical that in most instances a man may NOT divorce a woman, it is NOT Biblical that a woman would even have the legal right to divorce her husband! (However, in these last days, the world and the church have allowed and condoned this.)

    Divorce by christian women ‘putting away their Christian husbands for any reason’ is all too prevalent and unconfessed by the church.

    A few startling statistics which ought to convict christians and those married claiming Christ:

    • Percent of men 15-44 years of age who have had 15 or more female sexual partners, 2006-2010: 21.6%
    • Percent of women 15-44 years of age who have had 15 or more male sexual partners, 2006-2010: 9.0% source

    I have confessed that the number of sexual partners in my life may be counted on one hand, but trends show that now many teens have had more sexual partners by their early 20’s, and that without marriage (in most cases), than I have had in over 40 years since first having intercourse (in my 20’s).

    • By age 18, 9% of women aged 15–44 in 2006–2010 had ever cohabited.
    • By age 20, 26% of women in 2006–2010 had cohabited, compared with 23% in 2002 and 19% in 1995.
    WhyGetMarried2Our 18 year old son will graduate from high school this year. These stats mean that 9 of the 100 young women graduates in his class have already lived with their boyfriend (possibly in the home of her parent).
    —
    I can guarantee you that our ‘christian’ sons and daughters (who often resist church participation at that age) are included in the parental hypocrisy of these well-hidden facts. (See the difference in christian marriages, below.)
    —
    In just two years, one of every four young women in his 2014 graduation class will be “in a relationship” with their boyfriend. (No need of marriage here.)
    One of four women by age 20.
    • By age 25, over one-half of women (55%) in 2006–2010 had cohabited. source

    So what is our Christian witness for marriage?

    We do not make a very good case for it by our witness.

    • adults (78%) have been married at least once, the Barna study revealed that an even higher proportion of born again Christians (84%) tie the knot.
    • 25% have gone through a marital split
    • In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively. source

    Christian witness: Number of divorces is the SAME as non-christians.

    Continuing in what Jesus had to say to the Pharisees about divorce:

    Jesus said:  6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

    7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”

    8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

    Is this not so with christians who divorce? Is this not so with christian wives who call themselves, ‘single moms?”

    9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

    And ought we also say, in these last days where the hardness of a woman’s heart will no more submit to her husband, than she will to the Lord:

    “Whoever divorces her husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

    From the beginning, it was not so.

    Marriage: to be continued?  … Next: Why Biblical marriage matters

     

     

  • In the beginning, Marriage

    In the beginning, Marriage

    God’s true intention for marriage preceded original sin.

    Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

    I must confirm from a terrible emptiness and great incompleteness: It is not good for a man to be alone… so alone without God’s help meet (mate).

    22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,

    “This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
    she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

    24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

    What a joy! What promise – and this, before sin.

    Genesis 4:1 Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.”

    Genesis 4:17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch…

    Genesis 4:25 And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.

    In the beginning, marriage.

    Genesis 5:6 When Seth had lived 105 years, he fathered Enosh. 7 Seth lived after he fathered Enosh 807 years and had other sons and daughters.

    The Bible does not mention the names of the wife of Seth or the names of the help meets of most of these ancestors of Noah, but they had wives and sons and daughters – family, with a husband and a wife and their children.

    Noah was married. Noah’s sons, who were also grown men and had the faith to obey God and Noah, had wives who were saved along with them.

    In the beginning, marriage. Not one whisper of any relationship of family other than marriage. Not one mention of any end of marriage, even for these first forefathers who lived hundreds of years with their wife and grown children. Not one mention of any alternative, until further sin of compromise entered into the lives of Abram, Jacob and others. (We will address the issues of their multiple wives later.)

    In the beginning, God ordains that “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” And yes, it’s okay that they are naked and unashamed in their own bed chamber; for as it was in the beginning, they are now one.

    A man desires to know a woman. A husband desires to know his wife. A wife is a part of her husband, not to be torn away any more than a man would tear out his own rib.

    I am witness that a wife torn away from our oneness is more deeply painful than the tearing out of any rib. For by divorce she has cut away with anger into your heart.

    I too am witness to a wife being torn away by death.  As for most husbands and wives, most shall part one prior to the other in the death of their beloved ‘other half.’  Your wife torn away, her soul separated from you for a time, is a pouring out of your own heart.

    Husbands and wives this is the temporal end of the vows of your earthly commitment; but union with the soul and the uniting of these souls to God is quite something more.

    It is not good that man (or woman) should be alone.

    Are you a blessing to your husband? (Are you a blessing to your wife?)

    What is your daily witness to your covenant of marriage before God?

    What is the witness of your marriage to Christ?

    In the beginning, marriage.

     Marriage: To be continued…

     

  • The Parable of Degenerate Sisters

    The Parable of Degenerate Sisters

    A Parable from the Pre-incarnate Son of Man to the Prophet Ezekiel

    23:4 Marriage is commonly used in the Bible as a symbol for the covenant relationship between God and his people (e.g. Isa 54:1-8; Eph 5:22-23). 

    Ezekiel 23

    English Standard Version (ESV) (excerpted with literal & brief paraphrase)

    2 “Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother. 3 They played the whore… in their youth; there their breasts were pressed and their virgin nipples handled. 4 Oholah was the name of the elder and Oholibah the name of her sister. They became mine, and they bore sons and daughters…

    5 “Oholah played the whore while she was mine, and she lusted after her lovers… 6 clothed in purple, governors and commanders, all of them desirable young men, horsemen riding on horses. 7 She bestowed her whoring upon them, the choicest men … and she defiled herself with all the idols of everyone after whom she lusted. 8 She did not give up her whoring that she had begun in Egypt; for in her youth men had lain with her and handled her virgin nipples and poured out their whoring lust upon her. 9 Therefore I delivered her into the hands of her lovers, into the hands … after whom she lusted. 10 These uncovered her nakedness;they seized her sons and her daughters; and as for her, they killed her with the sword; and she became a byword among women, when judgment had been executed on her.

    11 “Her sister Oholibah saw this, and she became more corrupt than her sister in her lust and in her whoring, which was worse than that of her sister. 12 She lusted after the Assyrians (the same kind of men as her sister), all of them desirable young men. 13 And I saw that she was defiled; they both took the same way. 14 But she carried her whoring further. She saw men portrayed on the wall, the images of (evil enemies of God)… 16 When she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 And they came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoring lust. And after she was defiled by them, she turned from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her whoring so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned in disgust from her sister. 19 Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt 20 and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. 21 Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians handled your nipples and fondled your young breasts.”

    22 Therefore, O Oholibah, thus says the Lord God: “Behold, I will stir up against you your lovers from whom you turned in disgust, and I will bring them against you from every side… 24 And they shall come against you… They shall set themselves against you on every side … and I will commit the judgment to them, and they shall judge you according to their judgments. 25 And I will direct my jealousy against you, that they may deal with you in fury. They shall cut off your nose and your ears, and your survivors shall fall by the sword. They shall seize your sons and your daughters, and your survivors shall be devoured by fire. 26 They shall also strip you of your clothes and take away your beautiful jewels. 27 Thus I will put an end to your lewdness and your whoring begun in the land of Egypt, so that you shall not lift up your eyes to them or remember Egypt anymore.

    28 “For thus says the Lord God: Behold, I will deliver you into the hands of those whom you hate, into the hands of those from whom you turned in disgust, 29 and they shall deal with you in hatred and take away all the fruit of your labor and leave you naked and bare, and the nakedness of your whoring shall be uncovered. Your lewdness and your whoring 30 have brought this upon you, because you played the whore with the nations and defiled yourself with their idols. 31 You have gone the way of your sister; therefore I will give her cup into your hand. 32 Thus says the Lord God:

    “You shall drink your sister’s cup
    that is deep and large;
    you shall be laughed at and held in derision,
    for it contains much;
    33 you will be filled with drunkenness and sorrow.
    A cup of horror and desolation,
    the cup of your sister Samaria;
    34 you shall drink it and drain it out,
    and gnaw its shards,
    and tear your breasts;

    for I have spoken, declares the Lord God. 35 Therefore thus says the Lord God: Because you have forgotten me and cast me behind your back, you yourself must bear the consequences of your lewdness and whoring.”

    36 The Lord said to me: “Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah? Declare to them their abominations. 37 For they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands. With their idols they have committed adultery, and they have even offered up to them for food the children whom they had borne to me. 38 Moreover, this they have done to me: they have defiled my sanctuary on the same day and profaned my Sabbaths. 39 For when they had slaughtered their children in sacrifice to their idols, on the same day they came into my sanctuary to profane it. And behold, this is what they did in my house. 40 They even sent for men to come from afar, to whom a messenger was sent; and behold, they came. For them you bathed yourself, painted your eyes, and adorned yourself with ornaments. 41 You sat on a stately couch, with a table spread before it on which you had placed my incense and my oil. 42 The sound of a carefree multitude was with her; and with men of the common sort, drunkards were brought from the wilderness; and they put bracelets on the hands of the women, and beautiful crowns on their heads.

    43 “Then I said of her who was worn out by adultery, Now they will continue to use her for a whore, even her! 44 For they have gone in to her, as men go in to a prostitute. Thus they went in to Oholah and to Oholibah, lewd women! 45 But righteous men shall pass judgment on them with the sentence of adulteresses, and with the sentence of women who shed blood, because they are adulteresses, and blood is on their hands.”

    46 For thus says the Lord God: “Bring up a vast host against them, and make them an object of terror and a plunder. 47 And the host shall stone them and cut them down with their swords. They shall kill their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses. 48 Thus will I put an end to lewdness in the land, that all women may take warning and not commit lewdness as you have done. 49 And they shall return your lewdness upon you, and you shall bear the penalty for your sinful idolatry, and you shall know that I am the Lord God.”

    A wife, holy and pure, a virgin undefiled, loyal and faithful: is that not the desire of a man? And is this not the highest and holiest desire of the Living God, in whose image we are made man? Is a faithful bride not the desire of Christ Jesus, the returning Bridegroom of His Church?

    Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

    Jeremiah 3:8-10 She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore. Because she took her whoredom lightly, she polluted the land, committing adultery with stone and tree. Yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to me with her whole heart, but in pretense, declares the LORD.”

    A history of divorce

    The LORD GOD has married you and made you His own! It is a most serious matter that a woman would play the whore and give herself to any other. This is the setting of the parable of the two degenerate sisters in Ezekiel 23. It is the history of God’s chosen ones of Israel and Judah.

    Christ Jesus is born a Son of Man, conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of a virgin. The teachers of the Law come to him and ask about a man divorcing a woman. A woman had no such right of divorce or anything else separate of the rights of her husband as a matter of the Law.

     Matthew 19:3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

    4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh.

    What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

    7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”

    8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

    “… “Because of your hardness of heart…”

    Now the hardness of our hearts urges a wife to dismiss her husband!

    To the parable of the two degenerate sisters, must we now add another who has called herself, ‘christian?’

    Let Christ’s Church with ears to hear hear the distant trumpet announcing the returning Bridegroom of the Church, His Bride:

    Revelation 19:6-10

    English Standard Version (ESV)

    The Marriage Supper of the Lamb

    6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

    “Hallelujah!
    For the Lord our God
    the Almighty reigns.
    7 Let us rejoice and exult
    and give him the glory,
    for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
    and his Bride has made herself ready;
    8 it was granted her to clothe herself
    with fine linen, bright and pure”—

    for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

    9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” 10 Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God.” For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

    Even so, come, Lord Jesus, to your beloved church, the faithful who have not put You away by a bill of divorce.