Matthew 19
Teaching About Divorce
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
4 He answered,“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
The question of the Pharisees is justification that could easily come from the deceitful tongue of an unfaithful 21st c. christian.
‘How can I get out of my marriage vows?’ one might ask.
A ‘vow’ may be permanent or vows may have a clause of completion by a given date or event. Here is announced INTENTION of the marriage vow I made with my wife and she with me:
DECLARATION OF INTENTION
Pastor [sister in the Lord and mayor, Judith Piper] to the persons who are to marry:I ask you now, in the presence of God and these people, to declare your intention to enter into union with
each other through the grace of Jesus Christ, who calls you into union with himself [as acknowledged in
your baptism.]Pastor to the woman: 2
Lissette, will you have Roger, to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him,
comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as
long as you both shall live?
Woman: I will.Pastor to the man:
Roger, will you have Lissette, to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her,
comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as
long as you both shall live?I will.
Although we have spent some time in the Old Testament and marriage problems from the beginning, let’s take a brief look at the Law and perspective of marriage before these last days.
As a reminder, a woman (virgin) was given in marriage from her father to another family, typically by agreement to the father for his son. (How different this is from the boiling emotions of attraction of the flesh of those choosing marriage in these last days as a confirmation of what has already taken place.)
The Bible speaks to men, because by their authority from God men are to speak to and for the woman in their care and responsibility.
For a brief look at this, see Numbers 30.
Not only is it NOT Biblical that in most instances a man may NOT divorce a woman, it is NOT Biblical that a woman would even have the legal right to divorce her husband! (However, in these last days, the world and the church have allowed and condoned this.)
Divorce by christian women ‘putting away their Christian husbands for any reason’ is all too prevalent and unconfessed by the church.
A few startling statistics which ought to convict christians and those married claiming Christ:
- Percent of men 15-44 years of age who have had 15 or more female sexual partners, 2006-2010: 21.6%
- Percent of women 15-44 years of age who have had 15 or more male sexual partners, 2006-2010: 9.0% source
I have confessed that the number of sexual partners in my life may be counted on one hand, but trends show that now many teens have had more sexual partners by their early 20’s, and that without marriage (in most cases), than I have had in over 40 years since first having intercourse (in my 20’s).
- By age 18, 9% of women aged 15–44 in 2006–2010 had ever cohabited.
- By age 20, 26% of women in 2006–2010 had cohabited, compared with 23% in 2002 and 19% in 1995.
Our 18 year old son will graduate from high school this year. These stats mean that 9 of the 100 young women graduates in his class have already lived with their boyfriend (possibly in the home of her parent).- By age 25, over one-half of women (55%) in 2006–2010 had cohabited. source
- In a 2010 Pew Research Center survey, love wins out over “making a lifelong commitment,”
So what is our Christian witness for marriage?
We do not make a very good case for it by our witness.
- adults (78%) have been married at least once, the Barna study revealed that an even higher proportion of born again Christians (84%) tie the knot.
- 25% have gone through a marital split
- In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively. source
Christian witness: Number of divorces is the SAME as non-christians.
Continuing in what Jesus had to say to the Pharisees about divorce:
Jesus said: 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Is this not so with christians who divorce? Is this not so with christian wives who call themselves, ‘single moms?”
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
And ought we also say, in these last days where the hardness of a woman’s heart will no more submit to her husband, than she will to the Lord:
“Whoever divorces her husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
From the beginning, it was not so.
Marriage: to be continued? … Next: Why Biblical marriage matters
