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Tag: marriage

Commandments of Relationships in the Church 1 Corinthians 7
The Apostle clearly states both his authoritative advice AND commandments from the risen Christ Jesus.

I say this to give you permission. It is not a command.

1 Corinthians 7:6 ICB

Commandments for Christians from the Lord

Now I give this command for the married people. (The command is not from me; it is from the Lord.)
A wife should not leave her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:10 International Children’s Bible

Paul previously has already conceded to those who are single, ‘..because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.’ – 1 Corinthians 7:2 NKJV
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The New King James Version HEADS this section of Paul's Epistle: Keep Your Marriage Vows
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NOW Paul must address how a corinthianized saint of Christ’s Church in Corinth ought to apply such commands of the Lord.

‘Do NOT be unequally yoked’ is good pre-marital advice from the Bible.

Roger@talkofJesus.com

– referring to Paul’s Second letter to the Corinthians 6:14

Divorce

A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.

And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Let’s be clear on this command:
- For most of history ONLY the HUSBAND could sign a certificate of divorce.
- In this Common Era a WIFE is JUST AS LIKELY to sue her husband for divorce.
OR a ‘liberated‘ woman may simply leave (or evict) the husband of her vows, rather than seeking to reconcile their marital relationship as commandments of the Lord and scripture clearly state.

Any Exceptions or Advice?
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(In deference to our own vows before the Lord, sometimes the hardness of a heart is that of our spouse.)
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12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.

13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.

The Apostle also makes clear his desire for fidelity in marriage between a CHURCH MEMBER and an unbeliever.

Scripture is clear: DO NOT commit adultery applies to HUSBAND and WIFE alike.

What about the kids?

The husband who is not a believer is made holy through his believing wife.

And the wife who is not a believer is made holy through her believing husband.

If this were not true, then your children would not be clean. But now your children are holy.

1 Corinthians 7:14 International Children’s Bible

Sanctified, the King James Version instructs.
ἁγιάζω – Strong’s G37 – hagiazō – From ἅγιος (G40) the same word scripture uses for ‘Holy’ and for ‘saint,’ the name identifying members of Christ’s church.
- to separate from profane things and dedicate to God
- to purify by expiation: free from the guilt of sin
- to purify internally by renewing of the soul
MARRIAGE is HOLY, ITS TWO SAINTS ONE with each other and with CHRIST.
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The saints of the church are Christ's SANCTIFIED ones, yet are our christian MARRIAGES a HOLY witness of CHRIST?
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The Good News About Marriage also reveals the divorce rate among those active in their church is 27 to 50 percent lower than among non-churchgoers.

Jeff Feldhahn, husband of Shaunti Feldhahn, marriage researcher in 2019 CBN interview

Which spouse claiming to be christian while embracing adultery is NOT ACTIVE in worship in their local church?

So they divorce, often calling themselves, ‘single mom’ or ‘single dad,’ as if they had never been bound to any vow.

And they witness falsely to the world that they are ‘christians‘ (though in name only) who DIVORCE as FREELY and frequently as the rest of the world, those who vilify Christ our Lord, His Church and every Christian family.

but IF the ..

ἄπιστος apistos – (note some meaning from various translations)

[departs, insists on leaving, leaves, separates, wants a divorce],

χωρίζω chōrizō – let him depart

.. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

1 Corinthians 7:15b KJV

ἄπιστος apistos
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And what does the Bible call this person breaking their vows of marriage by divorce?
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- unbelieving or unbeliever, KJV & NKJV
- the husband or wife who isn’t a believer, NLT
- unbelieving one, LSB
- unbelieving partner, AMP & RSV
- infidelis, VUL
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In fact, since 
they trouble Christ, 
divide the saints and
cast chaos into the world of witness in Jesus Christ, 
those church members who DIVORCE become anti-Christs in the eyes of the world.
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Let it be so. – 7:15b NIV

Concerning Change of Status

When this happens, the brother or sister in Christ is free. God called us to a life of peace. 16 Wives, maybe you will save your husband; and husbands, maybe you will save your wife. You do not know now what will happen later.

1 Corinthians 7:15c International Children’s Bible

This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.

1 Corinthians 7:17 New Living Translation
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Paul addresses the men - Jewish saints of the church as well as Greek or Roman converts to Judaism, now also saints adopted into Christ.
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Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain [abide] in the situation they were in when God called them.
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This, of course, opens another relational question for women, as well as questions of status of Jews the circumcision, Greek Corinthians and Roman Corinthians, both the uncircumcision.
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Slaves – δοῦλος –doulos

Rome had slaves.
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(Most Bible translations prefer the less-offensive word, servants), but even employee labor is bought by your employer.) Some are slaves to their work. Others, slaves to
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Lose a war, as the Greeks had to the Romans, and your citizens become subject to a government over which you have no control. Jews, whether in Corinth or Jerusalem were also either Roman citizens, free aliens or slaves to a Roman, Greek or other master, their lord.

doulos
1. a slave
2. metaph., one who gives himself up to another’s will those whose service is used by Christ in extending and advancing his cause among men
3. devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests
For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord.

Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ.
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So note here Paul's all-important metaphor:
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You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants [doulos] of men.

So, brothers, [v.29 meaning ‘brothers and sisters’] in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

1 Corinthians 7:23 ESV

The Apostle uses ABIDE once again in v.23, his fourth of five times in 1 Corinthians 7.

Situation of the unmarried and widowed

25 Now I write about people who are not married. I have no command from the Lord about this, but I give my opinion. And I can be trusted, because the Lord has given me mercy.

Remedies for this present distress

I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—
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Paul's advice is both personal AND circumstantial: to the single (virgins and unmarried men), engaged (betrothed), married, widowed (no longer bound to a spouse), divorced (once again single and unbound to another).
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- 27 Are you pledged to a woman?
  - Do not seek to be released.
- 28 Are you free from such a commitment?
  - Do not look for a wife.
- 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned;
- and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.
  - But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
    
    NIV
The time is short
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We do not have much time left. So starting now... 1 Corinthians 7:29b International Children's Bible
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What’s the historical context of which Paul speaks? (This seems somewhat prophetic, but certainly the handwriting on the wall is whispered in every province of the Empire.)

AD 55 – Six years ago Caesar Claudius had expelled some of the Jews from Rome. And now Nero has succeeded him as Emperor.
- ‘Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus was self-indulgent, cruel, and violent as well as a cross-dressing exhibitionist.’
- Nero planned his mother’s death with great care
- After Nero and [his second wife] argued late one night (Nero liked to stay out late), he supposedly kicked her in the stomach, killing both her and the unborn child.
  - READ more from our source
And, of course we know Nero’s evil reputation best from an incident about to take place in the burning of most of Rome just nine years from now [AD 64] and more malicious persecutions of Christ followers, including Paul, who viewed Nero as an anti-Christ.

The Apostle writes twice to the Corinthians during turbulent times.

..the time is short, so that from now on

even those who have wives should be as though they had none,
- those who weep as though they did not weep,
- those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice,
- those who buy as though they did not possess,
- and those who use this world as not misusing it.
For the form of this world is passing away.

Paul’s first Epistle to the Corinthians 7:29-31 NKJV

Free from earthly cares
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Again, a list from Paul confirming motivations of men and women in their relationships - freedom apart from the commandments of the Law and rules concerning marriage.
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A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives;
1 Corinthians 1:39a NKJV
- The unmarried man is concerned about the work of the Lord, how he can please the Lord. – 1 Cor 7:32b BSB
  - But the married man is concerned about the affairs of this world, how he can please his wife, – v.33
- The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:
  - but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. – v. 34b KJV
cautions for your profit and not restraint

to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to the Lord.

If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. – v.36 ESV

But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. – v.37 NLT

So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.

1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV – Paul’s advice for uncertain times

.. but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:39b NKJV
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Once again, from the KJV, Paul's fatherly Apostolic opinion:
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40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

NEXT: a Corinthian Culinary Conscience
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Abide in Marriage, Singleness and Christ – 1 Corinthians 7
If I could offer just one word of advice for married life of the saints in Christ it would be, “abide.”

It’s a rather archaic word once defining the lives of those living in Jesus Christ.

The Apostle Paul uses abide as many times in his first letter to the Corinthian Church, as does the Apostle John quoting the Lord Jesus in his Gospel.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

Gospel of John 15:4 KJV – quote of the Lord Jesus to his disciples (followers)

Abide

Recall the lyrics of Abide With Me, an A.D. 19th c. Christian hymn for eventide:
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.. Where is death’s sting? 
Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, 
if Thou abide with me..
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μένω – menō – abide
1. to REMAIN, abide
  - in reference to place; sojourn, tarry
  - without departing, continue to be present be held continually
  - in reference to time; not to perish, to last, endure, survive
  - in reference to state or condition; to remain as one,
    
    not to become another or different (as Paul uses it here)
2. to wait for, await one (as with Christ our Lord returning for His saints)
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Source definition (paraphrased with comment): Lexicon :: Strong's G3306 - menō BlueLetterBible.org 
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1 Corinthians 7:

Last time we studied some context of the Apostle’s letter to the church in Corinth, including a man reported for his well-known sexual sin.

With a little overlap into 1 Corinthians 7, Paul presents a case to the Corinthians to NOT defer judgment of CHURCH MEMBERS to the jurisdiction of their Corinthianized civil courts.

How Dare You Defer Discipline 1 Corinthians 6

The Apostle could have asked the Corinthians caught-up in the sins of their local idolatry the same question as he asked the men of Lystra who wanted to worship Paul and Silas.

Men, why are you doing these things?

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:

It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

1 Corinthians 7:1 NKJV
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Let's not get hung up too much on our Common Era worldly focus of SEX, but this specifically was the sin of a Corinthian church member sleeping with his father's wife and certainly sexual sin was a common temptation to others.
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SEE the helpful outline (adapted from Dextor Sammons) of ALL of Paul's First Letter below:
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- INTRODUCTION (1Cr 1:1-9)
- (4) PROBLEMS REPORTED BY THE HOUSE OF CHLOE (1Cr 1:10-6:20)
  - FACTIONS IN THE CHURCH (1Cr 1:1-4:21)
  - SEXUAL IMMORALITY (1Cr 5:1-13)
  - LAWSUITS AMONG BRETHREN (1Cr 6:1-11)
  - MORAL DEFILEMENTS (1Cr 6:12-20)
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Paul has already addressed SOME of the problems reported by Chloe's household.

NOW the Apostle will specifically address issues from the letter he received.
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Seven issues about which the Corinthians wrote to Paul
- (7) PROBLEMS MENTIONED IN THE LETTER FROM CORINTH (1Cr 7:1-16:9)
  - MARRIAGE & CELIBACY (1Cr 7:1-40)
  - EATING MEATS SACRIFICED TO IDOLS (1Cr 8:1-11:1)
  - WOMEN PRAYING AND PROPHESYING WITH HEADS UNCOVERED (1Cr 11:2-16)
  - THE LORD’S SUPPER (1Cr 11:17-34)
  - SPIRITUAL GIFTS (1Cr 12:1-14:40)
  - RESURRECTION FROM THE DEAD (1Cr 15:1-58)
Therefore, in answer to these reports Paul writes TO CORRECT SINFUL PRACTICES AND REFUTE FALSE DOCTRINE

Source:

Abide in Singleness
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Again, don't be put off by divisive denominational characterizations of celibacy used in this outline, the KJV and other translations.
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καλὸν ἀνθρώπῳ γυναικὸς μὴ ἅπτεσθαι· – 1 Cor 7:1b

It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Paul addresses an age-old issue that’s been around ever since Adam said to Eve, “Baby, yo fo me!”

The world both then and now does not view such natural urges as temptations to natural sin but rather as a part of everyday life in Corinth or your hometown.

Celibacy is NOT natural, for if it was we would have no generations.

NOT to touch — mē haptomai

— to fasten one’s self to, adhere to, cling to
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By our natural inclinations, not so different from 'abide' with another.
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Notice the further common meanings of ἅπτομαι:
1. to touch
2. of carnal intercourse with a woman or cohabitation
3. of levitical practice of having no fellowship with heathen practices. Things not to be touched appear to be both women and certain kinds of food, so celibacy and abstinence of certain kinds of food and drink are recommended.
4. to touch, assail anyone
Abide in Marriage

The Commitment of Christian Marriage

Paul also asks Christians to abide in Marriage in his letter to the Ephesians

In writing to the Corinthians the Apostle commands:

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2 NKJV

Paul points to Marriage for those who cannot keep celibate as a solution. (Though of course adultery and fornication of married men and women are sins as well.)
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To translate Paul's letter with more clarity and expand on the Apostle's advice from the New International Version:
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2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Power in Relationship

The Apostle has earlier stated:

all things are lawful for me, but I will G1850 ➔ not be brought under the power G1850 of any.

1 Corinthians 6:12b KJV

Now pointing to have full and entire authority over the body or to hold the body subject to one’s will Paul states (controversially, to our Common Era liberated thinking):

The wife hath G1850 ➔ not power G1850 of her own body, but the husband:

and likewise also the husband hath G1850 ➔ not power G1850 of his own body, but the wife.

1 Corinthians 7:4 KJV

YET the Apostle instructs these men tempted toward fornication and adultery that each man’s WIFE has power and authority over the MAN’s body.

a Relational Solution to Sexual Temptation

Defraud ye not one the other..

1 Corinthians 7:5a KJV – apostereō

STRONG ADMONITION from the KJV to both husband and wife; although Paul suggests an exception for fasting and prayer, he quickly continues:

and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:5a NKJV

Although Satan certainly defrauds men and women in many other areas of our flesh and tempting thoughts other than eros, Paul points to this specific challenge to the men of the CHURCH in Corinth.

Greek religion in Ancient Corinth also included the worship of Aphrodite, Venus to the Romans, the Goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, passion and procreation. Aphrodite was worshipped in her magnificent sanctuary on the top of the Acrocorinth…

According to Strabo, a first century Greek geographer, philosopher and historian, 1,000 courtesans were available to attract visitors, which also ensured the riches of the sanctuary. In this respect, public prostitution was integrated within Corinthian religion and culture to the extent that it was not uncommon to hear public prayers that appealed to the gods for more prostitutes. – source

Widowed or Single
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a brief suggestion of celibacy 
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Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.

7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

1 Corinthians 7:6-7 ESV
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Paul is single. Peter and many of the Apostles are married. Most of the men of Corinth are married, with some having been widowed (who Paul calls 'unmarried').
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I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,

It is good for them if they abide even as I.

But if they cannot contain (be self-controlled), let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 KJV

The Apostle has begun answering concerns of a letter from Corinth. Now Paul must judge the actions of familiar members of the Corinthian Church.

NEXT: Commandments of Relationships in Christ’s Church

Comment on Scripture + Share the Gospel
October 25, 2024
Padiddle

Padiddle

‘Padiddle,’ it came to me as I was driving home at dusk one evening. Padiddle, where did that come from? Then I remembered.

I had not grown up with it, for our family had played other travel games in the car. In fact, as I observed a car in traffic with no lights on at all, the very moment from 45 years ago came to me.

The car in my rearview mirror had only one headlight, which from a perspective of safety was just a little better than a car with no lights whatsoever. ‘Padiddle,’ I thought. I had first heard it from my first wife (so many years before). She went back to her daddy after just a little more than a year of our young marriage. I was devastated, but recalling some of our happier moments brought a smile to my heart.

Failures from our past

I had failed in that marriage forty-five years ago and in other relationships/marriages since. Of course I was part to blame; but I was never the one to give up on my vows or run out on my marriage. I had even had a successful, ‘until death us do part’ marriage which lasted more than two decades. Nevertheless, even after all these years guilt and regrets remain from my marriage to the bride of my youth.

Why couldn’t I have gotten it right – the first time… or those other times? Why didn’t I see the hurt in store from the most-intimate of relationships?

“Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? – Luke 6:39

Embarking into the mysterious journey of a dating relationship can be a most blinding experience. We listen to our own hearts and hormones. We look to others for advice, if anyone at all. Seldom do even the faithful seek to be equally yoked; thus we run into the love of a new relationship at different speeds.

The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9

A further examination into this description of our blind hearts will reveal more convicting words than sick. (Who has not been described as ‘love sick?’) Think of it more like עָקַב beyond cure, exceedingly corrupt or desperately wicked, to name a few.

Truly, failed relationships recall times of great darkness. Yet in Christ we have a Light brighter than the darkness of the world. … in him is no darkness at all.

Relationships often rush forward without tail lights to warn, ‘don’t follow too close.’ An oncoming unexpected one of the opposite sex approaches you with only one dull light, frequently trespassing God’s centerline in their approach to winning your love.

Will you swerve to miss the impact of the pain ahead? Or will you too cross the center line of God’s will?

A Promise we can hold

So what is it we have, if we look to the Lord for hope in our marriages?

Although Jesus was never married to a woman, for our Lord is married to His church; Christ gives couples a new hope to which we can hold.

[ctt title=”Christ\’s promise of forgiveness releases us from the deserved guilt for the wickedness of our past and the continued trespasses of our flawed daily lives.” tweet=”https://ctt.ec/EjeI4+” coverup=”EjeI4″]

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

– Hebrews 13:5, quoting Deuteronomy 31:6

If the Lord is part of our marriage, He will not leave us stranded or deserted or alone once more.

Although the intent of this quote of the Law in the letter of Hebrews is not specific to marriage, it applies to the character of Christ. Taken in context, a look a the preceding verse will also encourage.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

[ctt title=”Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” tweet=”Hebrews 13:4 https://ctt.ec/b6Qkc+” coverup=”b6Qkc”]

May I remind us of Jesus’ words to the Apostle Philip, who followed Him three years?

Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? – John 14:9

I find it most encouraging in our marriage that Jesus, who said,

‘Let your yes be yes and your no be no;’

Jesus, who watches over the lost sheep and our Lord who teaches that ‘the two become one;’

He who IS and was, the One judge of all souls at the end of the age assures us:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

In Him there is no darkness at all

Matthew 5:

14“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

31“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 John 1:5

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name.” – Acts 10:43

[ctt title=”A marriage without forgiveness is one soul without light.” tweet=”Love forgives, as the Lord lifts guilt from the forgiven.” coverup=”Va0Wr”]

Have you replaced your missing Light?

In Christ Jesus we have forgiveness of sins. Whoever believes in him is not condemned. John 3:18a

This includes your partner in marriage. Jesus includes you, as well. Believe in the forgiveness of of your sins of the past. Just replace the light and turn back to your Lord and Savior.

John 3:19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.

Padiddle, I say. We cannot have just half the light the Lord intends for our marriage.

21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”

Replace the darkness of the broken light of your failing love. For He IS our Light. Our love cannot shine clearly for others, even the one we love, without Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Each husband and every wife need the complete Light of Christ in the oneness of their marriage; for He IS the One who says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

January 23, 2017