By: Rachel Harned, M.A. Counseling Ministries, Wheaton College 

* – Original Post Date: September 23, 2013

How do you respond to someone who is dealing with death, sickness or grief of any kind? 

When I was 6 years old, my mom died. I found out early that many Christians don’t know how to handle grief. That fact has been reinforced as I have counseled others who are grieving.

Many Christians read about faith, hope, and love in the Bible and they don’t think we should ever be sad, but there is a lot of suffering in the world and most Christians don’t know how to respond. One of the biggest weaknesses in the church  is a lack of people who are willing to sit with someone in pain and truly “mourn with those who mourn” without trying to make it better.

Many Christians want to close their eyes to suffering by saying “God is good so you’ll be fine. I’ll pray for you.” God is good and we should pray for them, but if that is our only response, it can sometimes do more harm than good. Satan loves Christians who quote Romans 8:28 and send people on their way but that seems to be how Christians are responding to people in pain.

In my experience, there is nothing quite as powerful as just sitting and mourning with someone in their grief. It is also helpful to hear stories of the experiences of other people. Please share your stories below that others might benefit and learn from them.

How do you respond to someone who has lost:

• a parent?
• a child?
• a spouse?
• a friend?

How have others responded to you when you were grieving?

What responses were helpful or hurtful?

Please post your comments below. * I will be following the comments on a regular basis for this week and will have a follow up post next week responding to your comments and questions. * Original Post September 2013 – RH